Book Board Chat

Another year come and gone soon.

This can make a man whistful, especially if he's stuck inside with a blizzard outside, and has his wife banning him from the kitchen where the sweet, sweet, sinful smells of from scratch baking float through the air.

Apparently, I pinched her butt one too many times.. :o(

So off to the forrest! Metal detector in hand, in a full body snow suit, winter boots, and big poofy GoreTex hat. I must have looked like looked like either the older more round version of Elvis (in camo), or a mobile mushroom creeping slowly across the leaf litter.

The goal of course are the coins which other men, men who were equally banished from their own homes in the last 150 years, ...have dropped in marital frustration. Oh yes, such coins exist, they just don't come easy. Mother nature likes her silver, and the inch of snow on the ground this morning being simply one more (usually quite effective) defense mechanism.

Against such uphill odds I went forth out into the tundra. Sure the ground is frozen, but only 1" down. Whack! whack! whack!....then you can dig. First 10-12 signals were mainly foil and scrap, arduously hammered from the ground (complete with uttered profanities for the litterbugs of 37 years ago). Sigh. One whole nickel. No, not a cool one with buffalos and indians on it and stuff... just a 5c nickel.....dated 1982. Grrrr.

THEN.....I notice my boot is coming apart!! Yes, the sole is detatching from the rest of it....thwack....thwack...flop, flop....every step. Oh......Why me??

Sitting on a stump with a now wet and frozen foot , I tied extra bootlaces completely around the boot, a tried and proven homeless bum method to extend the life of your footware. With that my day ended, one foot dry, one wet.....i hobbled defeated (and feeling stupid) back towards the car.

*Ping*..........huh?.....*ping*. Fifteen feet from the stump where I soddenly tied my boot back together....*Ping*.

Quickly increasing the sensitivity level to "max" (deadly on your batteries - so we rarely do it)...i swung over the spot again *PING!* *PING!* *PING!*. I looked at the display. High tone. No rotting old tin can from baked beans here, this one is real....as in serious....you know...like the DVD they sent me with the unit years ago. "Someday -- this could happen to YOU!!"

Having been born in Missouri (the you gotta show me state) I cautiously swung over the area again, in an untrustful manner....PING! PING!.......oh.....oh.....oh my.

Quickly i dropped to my knees. Squatting in the quiet snow, I looked around. Alone. Suddenly a bird chirped and I peered up, scanning for intruders. It was of course, 27 degrees on Dec 29th and snowing, and i was alone in the woods.....far from other sane people who would never find themselves in this position.

With a soft "snick" my wicked sharp digging blade cut the first frozen inch of ice/muck and flipped it back. A plug 2" thick came up and there it was suddenly visable below....a rim of a reeded coin.....shimmering in pure silver glory....sitting vertical upright in the ground. With trembling a hand i carefully pinched it between thumb and forefinger and pulled it out. A 1911 Barber dime.....perfect. Immaculate actually. Zero wear on it, exectly like the day it was lost 101 years ago, still with the mint patina and a sharp edge from its mint strike. As the coin collector freaks call them -- "uncirculated".

Whew. Three smacks to the chest got my heart going again. It doesn't take much for me! Quickly I rushed home, dropped that little coin in Alice's hand and asked......NOW can i have some of what you're cooking??....Ah hahahaha (It worked -- I got fed).

Not the greatest treasure find ever....BUT its sitting right now in my jar of trophies over the mantel. And I....well......I got all the homemade chicken and dumplings i could eat. Mmmmm.

Fiscal cliff? I suppose things like that matter to people who's lives aren't already completely.....utterly....perfect.

Poor bastids. :o)